all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
