Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
do nipples grow back?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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