so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
if only i could text you this smell
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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