dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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