my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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