Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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