and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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