Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
jump out the window naked night went bad
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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