i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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