i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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