those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
