don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
