everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
