You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
