He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
