omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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