sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
