ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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