He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
