my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
the raccoons are back...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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