And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
