I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
