i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't deserve a penis
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
