He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
