We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
