I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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