Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
