I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
