we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
