dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
