please come you make the beer taste better
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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