this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
