She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i think i have two assholes
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
