I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
