Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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