So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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