drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize