do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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