I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
