I CAN MOONWALK!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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