But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
