Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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