you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
