white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
