My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
