If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
