DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
