So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
