Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
