i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize