what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
