Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
