READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize