We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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