so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
