i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
