Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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