I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
