Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
