I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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