ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
