Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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