have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
