Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The adults are the big ones right?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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