Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
