Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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