the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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