Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
