Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
