My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
vagina is talking i cant
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
