508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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