Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
God I need to hump something, right now.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
