Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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