i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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