She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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