I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize